


Letters to the Dead

by Benaroony



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, I Tried, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 14:24:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5008156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benaroony/pseuds/Benaroony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Percy writes Jason a love letter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters to the Dead

I loved you first. I still love you. It doesn’t matter anymore, though.I love the way we talked, the way we laughed. The way neither of us gave a shit; when we were together nothing else mattered. You and I were inseparable.

We aren’t together anymore. You’ve left me in pieces you know? You shattered me. I can barely get out of bed some days, it’s like you took a knife and carved me open. Spilled me on the floor, then swirled away.

I will always love you. The sound of your voice as you called out to me, the way your eyes lit up with joy everytime you saw me. The way we would hug; you held on like I was life and you were a dying man.

We all have our demons. Mine look like you did that night. When you’d looked at me without really seeing me. The way the light caught your skin, making it look deathly pale and sallow.

I will never forget you. The way we would laze in bed all day, quiet except for the ambient music you loved. The way you said my name, nothing more than a breath. I remember it would tickle my skin, like someone was drawing a feather over it. 

Some nights I stay up late. Most nights I don’t sleep. If I go to bed I can feel the cold spot you used to sleep in. I miss you, but you’ll never know how much. I can’t even put into words the ache I feel when I finally sleep, only to find that you no longer run your fingers through my hair and whisper sweet nothings in my ear until I wake up. 

We were destined for great things. We were supposed to have each other always, you promised to put up with me until we were old and grey. You and me against the world babe, forever and for always.

I feel empty without you. It used to hurt like a son of a bitch, but now it feels like nothing. I’m drifting through life untethered, you were my anchor; my rock.

Everyone said there was a million and one reasons to end this before it even started, but you reeled me in. Your words were my kryptonite, I turned to wax and melted faster than light.

Somehow we made it through, be it love or sheer stubbornness. Whichever it was, it worked. You cleaned up your act, and I learned to trust again. It was a long road, but when you start at nineteen you have time. We thought we had all the time in the world.

We didn’t. We had a few short years. Years that were filled with love and joy, laughter and happiness. They were stolen away. I will never recover.

I’m joining you soon though, I’ve got it all planned. I know that if I could see you, you’d give me that look. The one that said don’t do anything stupid, you goof.

I’m sorry, I’m about to do something stupid. They say you will do anything for love. We’re about to find out if that’s true. I think it is.

I love you so much. I’ll never forget the way the light caught your blond hair and turned it gold, the way your eyes crinkled when you smiled, or the way you used to tell me you loved me. The way your scar stretched when you smiled at me was adorable, the sunlight that shone in your bright eyes took my breath away. I’ll never forget the blue babe.

I’ve been waiting for a while, but I can’t wait any longer. There’s a light on in the kitchen, but I won’t need lights anymore. You were my light babe, and now I’m going to follow you. 

You were my home, my heart. When you died, I died to. It’s slow and painful Jace, dragging me along. All I want to do is finish the job. 

Please forgive me, I love you.  
-Perce

**Author's Note:**

> http://trashiesttrashthatevertrashed.tumblr.com/ If any of you have requests, send them here


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